Repulsive
by ArtemisRomanus
Summary: A simple dare in James' mind is nothing compared to what's in Sirius's.
1. Chapter 1

**DISCLAIMER: I do not own these characters, they belong to JK. **

**SUMMARY: A simple dare in James' mind is nothing compared to what's in Sirius's. **

**A/N: I feel bad, but these characters are definitely OOC. **

**REPULSIVE**

"Come on Padfoot! You have to do it you know, you made the Vow." James chided.

Everyone around was giggling furiously. "Guys, I don't think I should do this. It doesn't feel right." Right? Haha, it felt absolutely terrible. I would feel guilty for a long time, I could feel it.

"It's just Snivellus, it'll be quick. Where's that Gryffindor courage?" James taunted. You know, for a best friend, he could be a real arse.

I turned and looked at Remus. His expression said, more or less: 'Hey, it was your choice I told you if you agreed to it you would regret it'. _Thanks, real supportive._

"Do it, Do it, Do it!" They began chanting. I looked across the grounds where Severus was sitting harmlessly up against a tree. Yeah- that's right I called him Severus. I hate how James taunts him, but I know that I have to or I wouldn't have friends. Sometimes I wonder which is better. You see- Snape is a seriously misunderstood kid, and I admire him from afar. I can't tell anyone, but I get the feeling Remus knows.

"Sirius, you have to do it." Right, I made the Vow. Not the Unbreakable Vow, but if I did break this, it would cause some sort of embarrassment that I really didn't want to find out what it was.

"It's just a quick peck, nothing drastic- we wouldn't make you have to live through that one mate."

Well, here it goes. I hurried over to where Snape was sitting and stopped. I glanced back at everyone watching. My heart started racing, I didn't think I could do this. He looked up at me.

I was shaking, I could feel it. By the look in his eyes, I could see he was afraid I was going to hurt him.

"I- er- I'm really sorry about this mate, but er- I sorta have to…" So I grabbed him by his robes and pulled him up, turned back to make sure they were watching, and looked back to Severus.

Crash. Our lips met briefly and I pulled back to see a face of shock, my own felt hot. I was blushing. I let go of him, then stared for a minute before a felt my eyes watering. I blinked and turned to go, then turned back, "I really am sorry, that must have repulsed you." Then I ran back.

"See Padfoot, it wasn't so bad." James nudged my shoulder playfully, and everyone clapped my back.

I looked at Remus again, he gave me a nod of understanding.

"Well, that was fun and all, but I have stuff to do." I started to leave.

"Where're you going Sirius?" James asked.

"I have stuff to do James."

I went to the library, not sure why exactly; but it seemed to comfort me. I found a deserted corner and grabbed the nearest book and plopped down to hide from the world.

A few minutes later I heard a cough and Lily was in front of me. "Sirius," she looked at me sympathetically, "What's wrong?"

"Nothing." I looked back down at my book.

"Well that's a lie if I ever heard one." She chuckled and sat next to me. "Are you going to tell me, or will I have to force it out of you?"

"Well… we were playing Truth or Dare…" She sighed.

"Of course, go on."

"And… I- I was dared to er- kiss someone. I didn't want to do it, because I knew it would hurt him, but I had to. We made a vow, and if broken- something embarrassing would happen- though I don't know what." I stopped, not knowing if I should say more.

"Him? Who was this?" She asked confused.

"It doesn't matter… the point is that I wish I hadn't have done it, and that it's going to affect me for a while." I sighed hopelessly.

"Sirius, do you like this person," She put a hand on my shoulder comfortingly, "as more than a friend?"

"Er- well- it's complicated. You see- I admire them from afar, but- I don't think we would ever be friends…" I looked down. Not only had I just confessed to Lily I had a crush on someone I couldn't have (which was rare), but I just confessed that I'm… not just into girls.

"Sirius," She whispered, "will you tell me who it is? I promise, I won't tell."

"I- I can't. You'd be mad at me, at James…" Oh, there you go Sirius, getting too comfortable, that just gave it away.

"James? Sirius, tell me." I could see her getting frustrated.

"Er-" Then I mumbled his name.

"Sn- Snape." All at once, her face matched the color of her hair.

"I can't believe him! James Potter! I'm going to murder him!" She clutched her wand tightly and jumped up.

"Lily!" I grabbed her arm.

"Oh, Sirius… I- I'm sorry." She bent over and hugged me. "Does anyone else know?"

"I haven't told anyone but… I think Remus knows." I looked down.

She lifted my chin up, "Sirius, if there's anything I can do…"

"No, thanks Lily, I'm just glad I told someone," I stopped suddenly, "You wouldn't-"

"Never," She hugged me again "I'm going to go kill James now, would you like to come with?"

"No, you go ahead. I'd kind of like to be by myself for a while." She nodded, then left.

About a half an hour later, I decided to take a walk. With my mind wandering so much, I hadn't noticed where I was going until I found myself at the entrance to the owlry. I walked in and found that I wasn't alone.

I stopped short when I saw him standing there. I hesitated, not knowing what to do. He looked at me with a face of: well, I wasn't quite sure, it could have been hatred.

"I-" I started to say something, but thought better of it, so I turned to leave.

"Why, why did you do it?" I froze, his voice was less confident than usual, but I knew he could hex me into oblivion.

I turned back, "They dared me, and I made a vow."

"So, then why are you sorry? Sorry for yourself because I'm that awful, or just sorry that you didn't think of it before?" I had never seen him like this before.

"I-"

"Well, Black; congratulations, you really did it. You and Potter's torture over the entire time I've been at Hogwarts has paid off, if your goal was to break me: then you did it." He started to shove past me, but without thinking I grabbed his wrist before he could exit through the door: which was a stupid idea on my part, because he was gifted in the dark arts.

"Black," He growled, "Don't test me."

I loosened my grip, but didn't let go: however frightened I was.

"Just, hear me out okay?" I began nervously. "Do you remember what I said?"

He nodded, "You were sorry,"

"And?" I questioned.

"That… I must have been repulsed." He said slowly, unsurely.

"Right, well… were you not?" That was a stupid thing to ask… of course he was.

"Why are you asking me this, and why are we having a civilized conversation?" He asked frazzled.

"Because Severus, I just want to clear a burden… how did that break you?"

His breath visibly caught, and he looked at me with awe.

"What?" What did I say?

"You just… said my name…" He stuttered.

_I did what?!_ I didn't… how could I possibly be so dumb, so unguarded? "I- er- I always… think of you as… Severus… I just… never say it…" Way to go.

"Oh," He seemed to be speechless, but remembered my question. "It broke me because it hurt me. Despite what you and your friends must think, I'm a person… and I do have feelings. What burden exactly?"

"That I'm sorry for everything I've done to you, and that I see it hurts, but know my heart is never in it. I wish I could say the same for James." I continued more confidently, "It may seem like I'm a big social able show-off, and I can be, but, without James- I'm just lost. It's easy to stick by his side because of his ego, he gives me the confidence I need, but at a price."

"What price is that?"

"That every day I have to see him hurt people, even help him sometimes... especially the ones that I admire." I looked away.

There was silence for a while, and I walked over to the ledge and leaned out the window looking at the stars. I gave it my all, well mostly; I just hope he knows that.

A long time passed by, so I thought he left. To my surprise, however, I heard him next to me.

"Sirius…"

It was my turn to catch my breath, my heart stopped as well. He said my name.

"You're shaking…" He pointed out

"I'm cold." I muttered in reply.

I turned to look at him; he was visibly hesitating over something.

"Look Severus I-" But I was cut off when a pair of lips connected to my own.

It was sweet and passionate, and nothing like before. I grabbed his arms and softly pushed him against the balcony, so as to get a better perspective. We only stopped when we ran out of breath.

He gazed into my eyes, his onyx depths piercing me with emotions and said, "Sirius, you could never repulse me."

I smiled, and he smiled back. The first genuine smile I had ever seen from him, and certainly not that last.

So, was it horribly OOC or tolerable? I'm debating whether I should continue into another chapter or so, any thoughts? For those of you reading my story: _The Coward and the Lion_, I promise an update is coming soon: I did not forget about it. I just get these ideas sometimes- well all the time XD , and I never write them down, so I'm getting into a habit of it. Tell me what you think.


	2. Chapter 2

If only. I mean-honestly- how the hell could I have dreamt up something as amazing as that? Well, I did. So now I find myself drooling all over the book in my lap, still in the ruddy library. _Maybe I'll go up to the owlry…_ On second thought, I didn't feel quite as brave awake as I was asleep. So I figure confrontations are best left off for a bit. Cool down time is always good.

"Sirius" I looked up to see Remus looking at me with a puzzled expression.

"Yes Moony?"

"Why are you out of the common room so late, and WHY are you in the LIBRARY?" He asked awestruck.

"What time is it?"

"Nine."

"Oh. Well, I fell asleep." Ha, no really.

"That much is obvious, but what were you doing in here?"

"I just needed some time to think. Usually I don't let anyone catch me in here, but with you that's two already today." I replied.

"That's what Lily told me, but I couldn't believe it. Anyways, I came to get you, James is a bit-" I cut him off.

"Yeah? I don't really care what James thinks right now." I interrupted slightly annoyed.

"What's got your knickers in a bunch?" I smiled internally; Remus always had an odd way of saying things.

"I'm just not happy with James right now, okay?" I looked away.

"Does this have anything to do with today?" He sat across from me.

"No."

"Liar."

"Okay, yes, but… Remus!" I jumped up, "How could he be so cruel? I mean, did you see the look on Sev-Snape's face? He was horrified!"

"Woah, woah! Settle down there Padfoot. Now, let's go over this calmly, and rationally. First, sit down." I sat and took a deep breath. "Okay, Sirius, why does this upset you so much?"

"What do you mean Remus, wouldn't it upset you?"

"Of course it would, but for different reasons than you, I'm sure. Sirius, I see… is there something yo want to tell me?" He gave me that look, that _I know your secrets _look, that I knew I couldn't lie to.

"…I…"

"Sirius, you know you can tell me anything, you already know my deepest secret."

"Right. Well, I... don't know how to…"

"How to?"

"I'm not… girls, they don't… er…" I started to sweat, my heart felt like it was going to crack my rib cage.

"Hey, it's okay you don't have to say it." He reassured

"No, I… I need to. Okay, well, you see I'm… I'm… er not team female? I'm-I'm g-gay." I looked away ashamed, but a hand grasped mine.

"Sirius, there is absolutely nothing wrong with that". He said looking into my eyes with his own intelligent ones. "You'll always be my friend no matter what".

"I just… I don't know what to do; I don't want anyone to know. But I want to talk to him, clear up a few things" I felt like a lost puppy, I could even feel my eyes watering.

He stood up and put a hand on my shoulder, "Have courage, Gryffindor".

I smiled back. "Thanks Moony"

"Come on, we have plenty of time for confrontations, and I bet you're hungry. We'll stop by the kitchens." He started.

"Remus, I thought you disapproved of that" I looked at him confused.

"Special times come for special measures. Besides, they had really good chocolate cake for dessert today…"

"Oh Remus…" I chuckled.


	3. Chapter 3

DISCLAIMER: I do not own Harry Potter, the characters, setting, etc.

Repulsive Chapter 3

I woke up in a cold sweat. My head was pounding and my legs were entwined in my blankets. I looked at my watch: five o'clock. No one else would be awake for another hour. It was Monday, two days after the incident, and I had to go back to classes. That means I would be seeing _him_ a lot. _I need to clear my mind._ Library it is.

I got dressed and headed for the library. Breakfast wouldn't be for a while. Once I got there, I grabbed a book and plopped down in my nook, unbeknownst of the other presence nearby. I curled up and started to read a book entitled Medical Methods of Muggles,by Gregoravitch Gnastgy. I like reading, I find it soothing. I'm not particularly interested in non-fiction, but when I know I'm too troubled to actually pay attention, it's handy to distractions available. I looked down and read the first sentence:

…_Unfortunately for muggles, they do not have the ability to heal instantly broken bones or petty sicknesses. They, unlike witches and wizards, must take extra time and research of how to mend things that our healers can do with a flick of their wand. Muggles learn by studying the human body… _

After a while of staring, I came to notice there was someone else nearby. I heard them stand, then a series of thuds and pages rippling. I winced, good thing I'm a nice person.

I got up from my chair and knelt to the ground, "Here, let my help you", immediately I began picking up books and when I got up to hand them to the stranger, I flinched and almost dropped them again. Luckily from Quidditich; I have good reflexes, so I caught them before they touched the ground.

"Er… he-here you go" I mumbled and quickly ran off before _he_ could respond. I knew I would see him, just not when I'm not expecting it… I looked at my watch. Perfect. I can go to breakfast now.

I half-ran to the Great Hall, tripping here and there. Before I walked in I stopped. _Okay breathe. You can do this. It's just breakfast. _I put on my famous Sirius-smirk and entered, stopping to chat with some girls on the way, before I sat across from Remus.

"Sirius, you look like you've seen a ghost, are you okay?" He asked concerened.

"Excuse me?" A voice appeared out of nowhere.

"Oh," he blushed when looking at the apparition, "sorry Nick". He then turned back to me expectantly.

"Padfoot! There you are! You weren't in bed when I woke up; usually I have to pull your little arse out of bed. Where were you?" James plopped down next to me.

"Er… I was out on the pitch" I lied. Remus gave me a _liar _look.

"Smart thinking, I wish I had the motivation to get up that early." He replied oblivious. Sometimes I wonder why James is my best friend.

After breakfast Remus pulled me aside. "Okay, now tell me. What happened?"

"Well… I was in the library… and I saw him."

"Mate, you're going to be seeing him a lot considering he's in most of your classes." He stated.

I then explained what happened.

"Did you say anything?" He asked.

"Er… I said 'here you go', and then ran off."

"Oh Sirius…" he sighed "Come on, let's get to class, we can talk about this later."

A week went by, and I was still nervous every time I saw him. In classes I was quiet; which is highly unusual. Hence, everyone noticed.

_Mr. Black, what is the answer?_

_He must be sick._

_No, even when he's sick he's rowdy._

_What's gotten into him?_

_Mr. Black; the answer please._

"Sirius!" I looked up: everyone was staring at me.

"Er… right, sorry professor…"

"The answer, Mr. Black?" Asked Professor McGonagall, looking rather annoyed.

"Er- just like a patronus, the wizard or witch who wishes to become an animagus transforms into the creature his soul is most alike. Therefore a wizard as their animagus will take the same form as their patronus" I recited.

She looked at me in awe, everyone else proceeded to as well.

"What? That's the answer isn't it?" I requested

"Well you certainly know a lot about animagi, but that was not my question." She replied, still awestruck.

"Well, what was the question?"

"What spell is used to transfigure an object into a cloak?"

I laughed and replied: "_Pallium Amoveo_"

"Once again Mr. Black, your knowledge astounds me." She replied with a look of bewilderment.

I smirked and winked at James.

A/N: I'm sorry guys, I haven't updated in a while. End of the school year and such. I've had this written for a long time but I haven't added to it. Yeah, it's really short- but the next bit will be longer. So, I'll give you this for something to hold onto until I update again- which could be soon or could be in a while, I'm not sure, but I promise I will try!


	4. Chapter 4

Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter, nor anything associated with it.

Repulsive Chapter 4

A month went by and things were back to normal. I had almost-almost forgotten about the incident, but I had long since forgiven James. No matter how thick his skull, he is still my best friend. Remus and I had gotten closer, purely because besides Lily, he was the only one who knew my secret. We would go to the library and study together, which many people would find shocking. Unfortunately for me, the girls went even crazier over me because now I was cute _and _I was smart. I experienced many trips to the boy's lavatory just to get away from them. Hiding in the bathroom though, wasn't doing me any good.

So one day, I was busily strutting about the halls like I owned the place when I heard a commotion in the next corridor. I quickened my pace, hoping to catch the scene. As I turned the corner I immediately halted. I backed away slowly, so as not to be seen and peered around the corner.

James and Peter were standing, wands pointed at Severus who was standing near Lily, with his own wand on the ground. "What are you doing talking to Lily Snivellus?" James demanded harshly.

"James stop we were only talk-" Lily started, but James cut her off.

"Stop defending him Lils, he knows what he's done." He replied coldly, still glaring at Severus.

I knew I had to step in, I was just too afraid. I pushed the childish fears back though, and mustered all my Gryffindor courage. I walked forward clearing my throat. They all turned and looked at me.

"What's going on here?" I demanded.

James turned back to Severus, all the while replying, "Well Padfoot, you see Snivellus here was talking to Lily like they were all buddy-buddy again. Can you believe that?"

"Well, does Lily have a problem with this?" I asked, already knowing the answer.

"No I do not-" She started, before James cut her off again.

"Lily he called you a Mudblood! And you're acting like you've forgiven him!" He yelled.

"I have forgiven him James!" She yelled back. "Come on Severus, let's go."

"Oh no you don't." James stepped forward and fired a curse at Severus, causing him to fall over in a groan.

"Prongs!" I had enough of this, "What the hell was that for? Lily has clearly forgiven him, why can't you just leave it alone?"

"Because!" He defended angrily.

"That's really childish James, get over yourself." I glared and stepped forward holding out my hand to Severus.

He glared at my hand, expecting me to trick him. "Just take it!" I yelled, extremely pissed off. He took my hand and stood up, immediately letting go.

"Lily!" She jumped, I needed to chill out, so I continued a little more softly, "You coming?"

She nodded, and Severus, Lily, and I quickly left the scene to a bewildered James and Peter. I felt bad for yelling at him, but he deserved it. I knew we would make up eventually. None of us spoke as we headed outside, and finally stopping by the lake, I had clearly been interrupting an intimate moment, so I decided to take my leave.

"So er… sorry about James being such a git… always. Er… yeah. I'll just leave you two." I stuttered awkwardly before turning.

"Thank you." Immediately I turned around, Severus was looking down but his cheeks were red. I suddenly felt mine growing hot and replied quickly to avoid further embarrassment.

"Any- anytime." I smiled. Turning back, I walked back to the castle with a new spring in my step. 

That night I sat pondering the day's escapade, with a goofy smile on my face, unbeknownst to me.

"You're thinking about him." Remus and I were sitting in the common room next to the window.

"No I'm not," I blushed and looked out into the night sky.

"Yes you are, you've had that goofy smile on your face for the past ten minutes Sirius." He shot back. I continued looking out the window without replying.

"You should really tell him you know." He said softly.

Finally, I turned back to him with an incredulous expression, "Are you loony Moony? I can't tell him. You know I can't. It would ruin me. Not to mention the fact he won't like me back." I sulked into my chair, frowning.

He chuckeld, "Get over yourself Padfoot. You're going to have to tell him eventually, unless you want to keep embarrassing yourself in front of him. It's better to tell him intentionally then to let it slip out at the wrong time." I knew he was right, I just wouldn't admit it out loud so I grunted in acknowledgement. He laughed. "Sirius stop pouting. Get up, and do it." He gave me a little push.

"Fine fine. He's probably in the astronomy tower." I got up and started heading for the portrait.

"I didn't mean now! It's past curfew!" He jumped up, running after me, and pulled me back just as I reached for the handle.

"Your idea Moony, you can always come with me…" I joked.

"Absolutely not. If you get a detention, it's all on you Sirius." I grinned wickedly before stepping out of the portrait, leaving Remus to shake his head slowly.

Walking along the corridors, I started to regret my decision. I walked slowly, thinking I should turn back when I heard a small noise. I backed up to a corner, attempting to hide myself in case it was a teacher. Holding my breath, I listened for footsteps. Sure enough, someone was walking down the hall in my direction. I stood stock still, breathing as light as I could. Suddenly, the person turned the corner, and I instinctually gasped slightly, it was Severus.

"Who's there?" I froze, but thinking it was a worse idea to remain hidden. I stepped forward. Seeing it was me, he backed away slightly.

"What are you doing out? It's past curfew." He asked.

"I could ask the same of you." I replied quickly.

"Touché." He responded. We stood there awkwardly silent for a minute, not knowing what to do.

"So er- what _are _you doing out?" I asked hesitantly.

"That's none of your business Black." He bit back.

"Oh, er right- sorry." I looked away dejectedly, "I'll just leave you to it then…" I started walking away, but his voice called out behind me.

"What are you doing out?" He asked curiously.

"Why should I tell you when you won't tell me?" I turned around, frowning. When he didn't respond, I turned away and started walking again. Without stopping I muttered softly, "I was looking for you." I silently hoped he hadn't heard me, I was already embarrassed as it was, but he did.

"Why?" I stopped, but didn't turn around.

"No reason… goodbye Severus." I started walking, internally cursing myself hoping he hadn't caught the slip of his name. I should have known better.

"What?" He asked, dumbfounded.

"I said goodbye." I kept walking, but he was following me.

"No, I mean, you called me Severus…" He was next to me now, walking along with me.

"That is your name isn't it?" I bit back.

"Well yeah but… you've never called me that before." He said quietly. "Where are you going?"

"Astronomy tower." I replied shortly.

"Oh… me too." He said nervously.

I chuckled lightly, "I thought you would be."

"Why are you being so nice to me?" I stopped, not knowing how to respond. He was watching me intently, and I could feel a blush creep on.

"Sick of being mean, I guess." I looked down.

"No, that's not the reason." He accused.

"How should you know?" I looked up, immediately lightening my tone, from the wide-eyed look he was giving me, "I mean…" I stopped, and turned around, continuing my walk.

He started following me again. "Why are you following me?"

"We're going to the same place remember? Besides I'm not done talking to you." He stated.

"More like interrogating me," I muttered, but he ignored it.

"Why were you looking for me?" He asked again.

"I told you." I replied childishly.

"No you didn't you said: No Reason, that's not a reason Sirius and you know it." He accused.

"Looks like I'm not the only one using first names." I noted. He was quiet the rest of the way. Finally, we reached the Astronomy Tower, and I had no idea what to do. I really didn't have a reason for being there anymore. So I walked forward and sat near the ledge, looking out at the sky and the grounds.

He stood there for a moment, before following suit and sitting next to me. We were silent for a while before he spoke, "So… are you going to tell me? Or are you just going to leave it up to the imagination?" He asked quietly, in a slightly annoyed tone.

I didn't reply for a moment, thinking about the best way to phrase my answer, "I just wanted to apologize for… everything James and I have ever done to you."

"Oh," he hesitated, "well… I guess I accept your apology."

We didn't talk again for a long time. We just sat there watching the stars, relaxing together in our own little worlds. I thought about telling him, but every time I decided to, I chickened out at the last second. So we just remained there quietly, not speaking. I was pulled out of my reverie when I heard him shuffle. I turned and looked at him, and noticed he was yawning.

"Why don't you go and sleep?" I asked.

"I can't sleep these days." I nodded.

"Me either." I just kept watching him until he looked at me in question.

"Yes?" He quirked an eyebrow.

"Are you gay?" I didn't mean to say it, it just spilled out. I felt my face get red hot, and I instantly regretted it as I watched his face turn to rage, as he got up and began storming out of the room.

"Wait!" I called, getting up and running after him, "Wait Severus…"

He turned around, his expression full of hate and hurt, "I knew this was a trick. You and Potter, probably planned this from the beginning so you could humiliate me further." He snarled, turning away.

I quickly grabbed his hand, getting slight déjà vu. "Severus… I didn't-"

"Let go of me Black, or I swear to Merlin I will hex you to next week." His eyes flashed, and I immediately let him go, watching him stride away in fury. 

"I'm assuming it didn't go so well…" Remus was still in the common room, he was the only one ever up at this hour, but I supposed he couldn't sleep since the full moon was just three days away.

"No. It didn't." I began to storm towards the dormitories, when a hand reached out and grabbed my shoulder, turning me around.

My eyes flashed in a similar expression as I had just witnessed Severus using, "Moony, I really don't want to talk about it." I sighed.

"Well, we're going to Sirius. Sit," he pointed a finger at the couch, and I didn't want to anger him during his time of the month, so I sat.

He sat next to me, and asked quietly, "What happened?" So I relayed the story, with every single detail, and as I was spilling it out, I felt tears prick at my eyes. He hugged me quickly, then smiled, "It'll take time, but I think you're making some progess."

I looked at him in disbelief.

"Seriously Sirius." He chuckeld.

"Ha ha." I replied sarcastically, "How can you say this is progress?"

"You'll see." I rolled my eyes. Why did he have to be so damned perceptive… oh right, he's a werewolf.

* * *

A/N: Finally a new chapter! This story is almost done, I originally wanted it to be a oneshot, but I got too many reviews saying they wanted it to continue. I think it will be done in the next chapter, that I promise will be released really soon, I've already started working on it. Tell me what you think.


	5. Chapter 5

Disclaimer: I do not own HP, nor anything associated with it.

A/N: So we begin our final notes of our chapter, enjoy!

Repulsive Chapter 5

For days I tried to corner Severus but to no avail. He was avoiding me like the plague, and I didn't blame him. I even got to class early a few days because I knew he did, but he caught on quickly and started arriving at the last minute. Finally, I came up with a plan. I shared it with Remus, and although he disapproved, he said he would help.

We were in potions, Severus' favorite class. He always sat at the front by himself. Instead of sitting next to James like I normally do, I sat next to Severus. Immediately he growled and tried looking around for somewhere else to sit, but everywhere was full. So he gave up and scooted his chair as far away from mine as possible.

We were assigned a potion that we had to work together to make, so my plan couldn't have been working any better. I made my way over to the cabinet to get the ingredients, as well as a little something else. I headed back to our table, and we began brewing silently. While his back was turned, I quickly slipped in my secret weapon.

The potion began to bubble unnaturally and change colors. Finally, it blew up… right when Professor Slughorn was standing near our cauldron. "You imbecile!" Roared Snape, pulling me up by my collar, and holding his wand to me. I smiled and pulled out my own wand pointing it at him.

"What is going on here?" Professor Slughorn yelled. "I'm surprised at you two! Detention for both of you tonight, and that will be 15 points from each of your houses, now clean this up. And for goodness sakes lower your wands!" He threw up his hands in annoyance, and walked away. I smirked.

"Way to go Black," Snape spat, cleaning up the spill. I just smirked, and went on with my cleaning, smiling as my plan was set into action. 

It was fifteen minutes until I had my detention with Severus. I was sitting in the Great Hall counting down till when it would be reasonable for me to leave. The wait was unbearable and Remus noticed that I was shaking.

"It'll be fine, Padfoot, don't you worry," he said, patting my arm encouragingly.

"That's what you always say," I looked away, twiddling with my hands.

Ten minutes later and I found myself standing in front of the Potion's room door. I took a deep breath and walked in. Snape was already there.

"Ah Mr. Black, just in time. You and Mr. Snape will be organizing that shelf over there," He pointed to the shelf, "get to work please, and do be careful."

We were sitting in the Potion's room, silently organizing the shelves, for no less than three minutes when there was a knock at the door. "Come in," Professor Slughorn invited, slightly startled.

The door opened and I couldn't help but smile, "Professor!" Remus exclaimed, "Quick! I need you help! James swallowed something foreign!" I laughed at his comic display, as Slughorn trudged out of the room, following Remus.

Putting down the jar of newt eyes, I turned to Severus, "So… I can't help but notice you've been avoiding me."

"Obviously." He stated, continuing his shelf organizing without sparing me a glance.

"Why?" I scooted closer to him, and he moved back a few paces, I raised my eyebrow.

"What do you mean, why? Of course I've been avoiding you, you tried to humiliate me!" Suddenly he jumped up, staring down at me with a snarl, "I bet Potter loved that, I bet you went and told him and had a good long laugh. Is it you goal in school to embarrass me? To harass me and break me down so I turn suicidal? Do you really hate me that much?" He turned away.

I stood up walking over to him slowly, but stopped a few feet behind him, "Severus…I…"

"Leave me alone Black, you've accomplished your goal already. Just leave me be." He said shamefully, which only made me irritated.

"Tell me Severus, what I'm not understanding!" I yelled, making him jump and turn towards me, "Is it really that terrible for someone to be gay?" I started pacing, "Would it really ruin you for someone to think that you could be gay, does it repulse you that much?"

"I…" He stammered.

"No! Just don't- just don't say anything. I don't want to know." I stamped back over to the shelves, furiously slamming jars in their correct spots, tears silently falling down my cheeks.

A few minutes later I felt a presence slightly behind me, "Sirius…"

"Leave me alone Snape." I bit out harshly, slamming down another jar, and breaking it in the process. "Damn it!" I yelled, ramming my fist onto the shelf, causing other jars to jump, and some falling to shatter on the ground. I hardly noticed the blood dripping from my hands, as I fell towards the ground, only to be caught from behind.

Silently, I was walked over to a desk, slumping in the chair as it made contact with my legs. I looked down to hide my tears, as I heard shifting near the shelves. Snape was cleaning the mess I had made. After a few minutes, I heard a rustle of robes sitting on the desk adjacent to me. I kept looking down, afraid if I looked up I wouldn't be able to keep from sobbing like a girl.

"Are you going to tell me what that was all about?" He asked. I shook my head, not trusting my voice. "How am I supposed to understand the way your mind works Black? One minute you're pulling pranks on me with Potter, then next minute you're defending me from him and apologizing… and then you just go out and ask me if I'm gay! I mean… what am I supposed to think if you don't tell me what's on your mind?" He asked irately.

"…I…" I hesitated.

"You, what? Come on, spit it out." He demanded.

"I'm… gay." I closed my eyes, waiting for a response, not expecting the one that came out.

"So you pick on me because of your own insecurities?" He asked harshly.

I had had it, why didn't he understand? I knew he wasn't stupid. I jumped up in irritation, throwing my hands up in the air, "Don't you get it?" I yelled in disbelief, "I like you! I have for a long time! But you're so impossible, I couldn't just come out and tell you because you'd think I was tricking you or trying to embarrass you… I felt bad about having to kiss you because I knew you would be disgusted, and who wouldn't be? So I try to apologize but you don't believe me, and it hurts. I'm sorry that I like you, I just do. I don't know what I was think, getting us a detention so I could tell you all of this because you obviously don't care and-"

"You did what?"

"Apologized to you?" I asked, thrown off from my rant.

"No… I mean, you got us a detention on purpose?" He asked curiously.

"Well yeah, you were avoiding me, I had no way to tell you without making a way for us to be alone." I replied quietly.

He chuckled, "Well Sirius, I'm glad you told me this. I accept you apology, for real this time. But, I'm sorry… I can't return your affections, I'm not gay. What do you say to friends?" He asked, holding out his hand. I took it, and shook it, smiling.

"Alright, friends then."

* * *

A/N: I'm sorry! I'm sorry! I'm sorry! Please don't hate me! I just wanted to have a more realistic ending, but I have a sequel coming up, so hold onto your hats, ladies and gents.


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